When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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