Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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