Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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