The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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