Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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