Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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